My father was a good man ......he was kind, gentle and helpful, but he had his doubts about ritual and was dismissive and thoroughly disparaging of superstition, godmen, and the cumbersomeness of religion. He cared deeply and tenderly for those close to him. How much he cared for those nearest and dearest to him really hit home the night he did something most unlike him - he turned to superstition as an answer to a problem for which he could find no other solution. That was the night my three month old collicky offspring brought the roof down with his three hour long non stop crying marathon! That was the night my father surprised me by telling my mother in dead earnest, "Do whatever it is you do to ward off the evil eye, do that ridiculous ritual, do something, anything to stop whatever is bothering the baby". His grandson was the most beautiful baby on earth and he could not bear to see him in some inexplicable and unstoppable pain.
Desperation and helplessness in the face of distress bring out the "nazar lag gayi" or "nazar utaro" instinct in us. In our fear that what we hold dear and close to our hearts is going to be harmed or destroyed, we blame the evil eye. In our our anger that our beautiful bubble of complacence has gone bust or might be about to be busted, we convince and flatter ourselves that people are casting an evil eye on us.
While my father's bowing to the "nazar utarna" ritual was a one off thing, an aberration (thank God), one for which he ridiculed himself the very next day when his grandson was his normal smiley, gurgling self again, there are those who really and truly believe in the evil eye and the potential harm it can do - think chappals and black dolls tied on the back of trucks, black dots smeared on the faces of cute chubby infants, nimbu-mirchi (lemon-green chilly) charms tied on shop entrances, among other crazy things.....
At the bottom of all of this is our supreme vanity, don't you think? In our vanity and self satisfaction, we presume that we have everything that everyone else covets. In our narcissism, our self-absorbedness, we fail to see that everything, every single thing in the world is relative - wealth, beauty, brains, good luck, good health - whatever we have, there's always someone who has more of it. So why would anyone cast an evil eye on us and not on those others who are better endowed than us? Why would anyone covet my wealth and not the Birla's or the Tata's millions?
Why do we never stop to think that the busting of our bubble is just the 'down' that must come after the 'up' in the endless cycle of ups and downs that define life? Why can't we see that what we assume to be the evil eye that has been cast upon us is just a Malthusian type of theory busy at work bringing balance back into a skewed world! Or as some would say, your bad karma from this life or an earlier one coming to bite you.....
Frankly, any explanation would be better than to be trapped behind the fear of the evil eye. I can't think of a more pitiable way to live than that. How liberating it must be to be able to say to oneself, "I am what I am, I have what I have, I have earned it without harming anyone, I am thankful for it, I value it, I cherish it, but I am humble in the face of it", and be able to enjoy it without any fear of it being taken away by the evil eye!
Of course, the part in bold font is the most important condition to enjoying this feeling of liberation, and is there anyone in the world who can truly satisfy it? And if not, then is the fear of the evil eye just good old guilt in addition to good old vanity. Something to ponder I guess.......
Desperation and helplessness in the face of distress bring out the "nazar lag gayi" or "nazar utaro" instinct in us. In our fear that what we hold dear and close to our hearts is going to be harmed or destroyed, we blame the evil eye. In our our anger that our beautiful bubble of complacence has gone bust or might be about to be busted, we convince and flatter ourselves that people are casting an evil eye on us.
While my father's bowing to the "nazar utarna" ritual was a one off thing, an aberration (thank God), one for which he ridiculed himself the very next day when his grandson was his normal smiley, gurgling self again, there are those who really and truly believe in the evil eye and the potential harm it can do - think chappals and black dolls tied on the back of trucks, black dots smeared on the faces of cute chubby infants, nimbu-mirchi (lemon-green chilly) charms tied on shop entrances, among other crazy things.....
At the bottom of all of this is our supreme vanity, don't you think? In our vanity and self satisfaction, we presume that we have everything that everyone else covets. In our narcissism, our self-absorbedness, we fail to see that everything, every single thing in the world is relative - wealth, beauty, brains, good luck, good health - whatever we have, there's always someone who has more of it. So why would anyone cast an evil eye on us and not on those others who are better endowed than us? Why would anyone covet my wealth and not the Birla's or the Tata's millions?
Why do we never stop to think that the busting of our bubble is just the 'down' that must come after the 'up' in the endless cycle of ups and downs that define life? Why can't we see that what we assume to be the evil eye that has been cast upon us is just a Malthusian type of theory busy at work bringing balance back into a skewed world! Or as some would say, your bad karma from this life or an earlier one coming to bite you.....
Frankly, any explanation would be better than to be trapped behind the fear of the evil eye. I can't think of a more pitiable way to live than that. How liberating it must be to be able to say to oneself, "I am what I am, I have what I have, I have earned it without harming anyone, I am thankful for it, I value it, I cherish it, but I am humble in the face of it", and be able to enjoy it without any fear of it being taken away by the evil eye!
Of course, the part in bold font is the most important condition to enjoying this feeling of liberation, and is there anyone in the world who can truly satisfy it? And if not, then is the fear of the evil eye just good old guilt in addition to good old vanity. Something to ponder I guess.......
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